Sparkling wine or orange juice?
When I was 17, my boyfriend was employed as a salesman at his parents’ BMW dealership. He was the son of the owner and I think mighty proud of it.
I remember the anticipation and excitement before a cocktail party at the dealership with invited guests: everything is neatly cleaned, the cars gleam in the spotlight, appetizers are ready, and the sparkling wine, orange juice, and glasses are lined up on the counter. It’s just before the guests arrive and somehow the conversation turns to the sparkling wine. I tell my friend that I will only drink orange juice. Then he says with authority in his voice: “Of course you drink sparkling wine, what will people think otherwise! That’s what you do at cocktail parties, you can’t just drink orange juice!” I can tell that people’s opinions are very important to him – more important than my wishes. “How would it look?” It feels like I’m an embarrassment to him and his parents. I’m supposed to conform and put my own desires aside for the image of the dealership. I’m supposed to fit into their mold.
This shocks me and I respond, “I will drink orange juice!” I don’t like drinking alcohol, it doesn’t taste good to me. Besides, it makes my skin problems worse. Should I disregard my well-being because of people? My friend doesn’t insist and I drink orange juice. No one really notices.
All the things we do and we don’t do because we feel someone might judge us! That question, “Is it acceptable?” or “We don’t do that!” have always irritated me a lot. Can I be “me”?
Do you know the saying, “My freedom ends where the freedom of others begins.” That means my freedom is mine and I respect your freedom. I don’t have to limit my freedom because you have other ideas about how I should shape my freedom.
The Bible says this about Jesus:
If the Son sets you free, then you will be really free. John 8:36
God says he created every person wonderfully and gave value to each person – to all equally! He has given you and me more freedom than we can imagine! When I believe in Jesus, I am free. My value does not depend on my behavior or what other people think about me, but on God’s great love for me. And of course, that goes way beyond whether I drink orange juice or sparkling wine!
I don’t want to consider (but still far too often do) whether people judge me depending on what I’m doing. I still try to be inconspicuous too often and shy away from being brave.
The most important thing is to be at peace with my conscience and with God. I should respect other people and not violate their space. I’m allowed to live my life the way I want to, even if other people see things differently. God and God’s word are to be my standard. The better I get to know God, the better I know the good things He has said about me. And through this I understand better and better who I am and become more independent of other people’s opinions. As God’s child and with this identity, I am free – and His freedom is much greater than you and I can imagine!
Do you limit yourself because of other people’s opinions or do you fill the space that God gives you?
