NO, NOT IN MY HOUSE!

Imagine me buying poison in a pharmacy. It’s a powder in a sealed container and it says POISON in big letters, including a skull and crossbones and a warning. If I come to your house with this container and open it up, it’s still poison! This powder gets into the environment, the air, the furniture and finally into your body. You would be furious if I came into your house with it!

Humiliating words are also toxic! The amazing Dr. Maya Angelou explains in an interview with Oprah how she deals with poisonous words: At a party in her house someone told a racist joke, which means that black people were depicted in a derogatory way. She immediately told this person to go and leave her house! At the party it became quiet and the guests were surprised. “Where is your coat? Bye!” At that moment she was protecting herself and other people as well.

All words that devalue people are poison. “Don’t be so narrow-minded,” some will say, “it’s only a joke or a foolish remark”. But many jokes as well as other derogatory comments are contemptuous! I hate “dumb blonde” jokes. By now my hair is grey, but everything in me rebels against depicting blonde women as being stupid! I don’t want to tolerate these kind of words around me anymore, because they get under your skin. And like poison in powder form, negativity in words is anything but healthy.

It takes a lot of courage to confront someone like Dr. Maya Angelou does. I was impressed with her comparison of negative words and poison. I intend to take this topic seriously by being courageous and consequent in following her example.

There is only one who creates laws and judges on the basis of them. He is able to save or destroy you. So who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:12

God’s word says I should not judge! But every bad joke or negative statement is a judgment about a person or a group of people. The Bible also encourages us to stand up for the weak – and that means to stand up for them when someone speaks negatively about them. The same applies to myself, of course. I too am repeatedly in a position of weakness as a woman, even today! I should and I can stand up for myself! I may communicate what’s allowed and what isn’t. “This is okay, but this is not”. Not simply rolling my eyes, walking away or ignoring it! I have the right to protect myself and set limits.

I want to encourage you to put your protection in God’s hands – but at the same time you are allowed to protect yourself. Apart from God, nobody knows as well as you do what bothers you and what hurts you. You can tell other people what’s acceptable for you and what isn’t.
I protect everything that I consider valuable. So I also protect myself and see to it that no poison is scattered in my presence!