I run to the Father

Sometimes I realize that I have been running to God with a problem in my thoughts for ages and I have the feeling that he is not there.

Again and again I get stuck with a problem, sometimes for years, and my thoughts go around in circles and I keep coming back to the same point. I just can’t get any further. I keep going around in circles. And I feel like I’m running and running and never arriving. I’m always running and can’t find peace. I just can’t find a solution to my problem. When it’s an relational problem, I feel like the other person needs to change. And they just don’t change and the problem persists. So frustrating. And God seems so far away!

When I stop and reflect, I suddenly realize: the Bible clearly says that God is with us. The Holy Spirit is in us! He is always there! Where am I running to?

This running happens in my mind. It happens between my ears, as some people say. In my thinking, I run in circles! God is there all the time, but I do need to turn to him! God has been holding out his hand to help me for a long time. When will I finally take it and trust him? Most of the time, I’ve been hearing him for a long time. When will I finally take his words seriously?

In my thinking and in my heart, I should understand that he would like me to turn to him and ask him what he thinks of the situation or my problems. He wants me to lay the problem at his feet, because for him no problem is too big! I should understand that I can and should let go. Thinking in circles leads nowhere. When I submit my thinking to God, the knot suddenly comes undone – sometimes it comes undone slowly – but it comes undone! Things become easier.

Sometimes it is so difficult to let go of things like expectations, desires or needs because we really want them. And that’s when it’s especially difficult to submit to God. When I do that, God changes my thinking, or sometimes he encourages me to bravely tackle the situation myself with his help, to overcome my fear and change things that have always been that way. God is always for you and me (yes, always!), but he usually solves the problem in a completely different way than we could ever imagine. Our thinking is too small for his wisdom, that’s why we need him so desperately!

Holding on and trying to control? Or the opposite, like withdrawing and enduring? How long has that led to nothing but frustration?

Letting go is difficult. But when I submit to God with all my mind, with all my being, then the solution is much closer than I could ever imagine! And then his peace is near!

If I trust him that he means well and helps me through situations, then I can submit to him. I can let go of my thinking and surrender to him. I can thank him for being there and finally come to rest. Then my endless running can stop. Then I arrive!