Fear of man or fear of God

Many years ago, I got a seat on a crowded city bus in St. Gallen. It was cramped and noisy. Sitting opposite me was a small, slender woman with a tight-fitting headscarf, she was perhaps in her early 30s, next to her was her husband and standing in the aisle was a young teenager who was with them.

Suddenly I had a strong impulse: “Tell this woman she’s beautiful”. I looked at her again: I wouldn’t have called her beautiful, all I saw was her face, a neatly tied headscarf so that no hair stuck out and plain clothes. And she looked sadly at the world with wide eyes. Yes, not obviously, but she was somehow beautiful. I realized that this impulse could only be from God. And I was supposed to tell her she was beautiful? In this noise and with a husband and teenager right next to her? How do I say that? “I believe in God and I have the impression that I should tell you that you are beautiful?” What if she doesn’t understand me and I have to say it louder? And the others around hear it too? What does she think of me then, is she perhaps embarrassed by the attention? I had a lot of ifs and buts.

I thought about it over and over until she got off and I still hadn’t said anything. I was ashamed that I hadn’t gotten over myself. I had more fear of man than fear of God.

Fear of man shows itself, for example, when I don’t communicate when a friend’s behavior hurts me. It shows itself when I don’t address misunderstandings but let them remain silent. It shows when I hide my personality and don’t dare to be the woman I actually am. It shows when I don’t stand up for my needs. It shows when I think: what will people say about this? It shows itself when I am passive in a situation even though I know I should do something. There is fear in all of this: what will people think if I do this?

Why can’t we just get this fear of man out of our system?

„Remember that I have commanded you to be determined and confident! Do not be afraid or discouraged, for I, the Lord your God, am with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

God promises us that he will stand by us wherever we go! I’m not sure if I have understood this fully yet, otherwise I would have had more courage! But I believe that the decision not to be intimidated and to courageously do what God tells us is not a one-time thing. It is necessary again and again in every situation that requires courage. We can ask God to give us the strength to trust in him and not to be afraid. And we can start with small things.

Let’s take another look at my situation on the bus. What would have happened if I had told her she was beautiful?
In the worst case, she wouldn’t have understood me, would have rejected me or people around her would have looked at me strangely. But God is there even then, still loves me and helps me to deal with it.

In the best case, she would have been happy and noticed that God saw her. It would have boosted her self-confidence and given her hope. In the best case, her husband would have heard it and perhaps felt his love for her again. The teenager would have understood that his mother is valuable and beautiful. So beautiful that a complete stranger would talk to her about it. And perhaps they would have realized that there is a good God. If the impulse is from God, isn’t there a good chance that the best case will happen? Would I have been happy if that had happened? Yes! Would God have been pleased if that had happened? Oh yes, he would have been pleased to encourage this woman and he would have been pleased if I had trusted him and dared.

The antidote for the fear of man is the fear of God – knowing that God is mighty, is for me and will help me. The more certain I am that I am God’s beloved child, the less uncomfortable situations will stress me out. I would like that.

How are you doing? Which situations bother you and what would be the consequences? I pray for you and for myself: Lord, help us not to be intimidated, but to trust you and courageously do what is good!