Expectant!

Due to my husband’s retirement, we were painfully confronted with the issue of expectations. We found out that he and I had different expectations about how we should spend our time after retirement. Unfortunately, we didn’t discuss them with each other before – and we argued about them afterwards.
Ken thought we would go on many long hikes together – but first of all I have an allergy to the sun and besides that short hikes are enough for me. Ken wanted to spend a lot of time with me, but I am introverted and need a lot of time alone.
I bought a small motorcycle and thought maybe I could get Ken interested in motorcycling again, but all he wanted to do is ride his bike more and expected me to do the same…

But only after we were in a marriage crisis did we realize that part of our problem was our expectations, which were, first of all, incompatible and, secondly, partially unrealistic. I felt pressured by them; for me they became like a red flag and I thought: If we didn’t have expectations, our relationship would be so much easier.

And then I came across two verses in the Old Testament:

But as for me, I will be on the watch for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me. Do not rejoice over me, enemy of mine. Though I fall I will rise; though I live in darkness, the Lord is a light for me.
Micah 7:7-8 (NASB)

I am amazed with what certainty Micah proclaims these words. God wants me to be expectant, he wants me to be on the watch for him. So expectations are not all bad! I am supposed to be expectant. Hope is closely related to expectations and being expectant is a state of lived hope.

The big difference: what we hope for and what we expect!

When we place our expectations on the Word of God, we are on the right track. Because when God promises something, it is the truth and we can rely on it. But there is more in these verses: My enemies will mock me, I will make mistakes, but I will also be able to cope with them. Because no matter what happens, God himself is my light. There’s a fair amount of expectation in these verses. Even negative expectations like for example making mistakes, falling and darkness all around me are included. That’s realistic and based on experience. But still, the attitude and the expectation is very positive in the end. No matter what happens, I am safe because God is with me.

If we build our expectations on human, sometimes unrealistic or even wrong ideas, then difficulties are inevitable. But if our expectations are based on the promises from God’s Word, then our life will reach a whole new level.

I believe in Jesus Christ, that he died and rose from the dead, that he therefore became my Savior, that my sins are forgiven and that the Holy Spirit dwells in me. This is faith. From this comes the hope that I have eternal life. And so I expect the guidance of the Holy Spirit and that God’s power will work in me. And these expectations make me more courageous and able to live a different life than without these expectations.

This sounds rather theoretical, but I am convinced that it has a huge impact on my life whether I have these expectations or not! I can recommend the Bible as a basis for your expectations with the deepest conviction. Read the Bible often, pray and listen to the voice of God, because by doing so you will become more and more confident and you will be able to speak the verses of Micah 7:7-8 with all your heart. Your expectations will change with it, your outlook on life and death will become more positive, and you will live your life more courageously.

God is with you!