Are you getting active for a starfish?
You walk along the beach by the ocean and admire the many shells that have washed up. Wow, there’s also a starfish! It’s moving, it’s still alive! But it dries up here on the beach! It should be in the water! You take it carefully in your hand and throw it as far out into the ocean as possible. You want it to live. It shouldn’t slowly die because it lacks the water it desperately needs. Right?
You have compassion for this simple little starfish and want it to be okay. Are you such a “starfish” in this world, somehow stranded on dry land? Do you have compassion for yourself? Where is your ocean? Do you care enough about yourself to make sure that you don’t dry up, but live in an environment that is healthy for your whole being? Are you looking out for yourself to shape your environment so that you have good conditions for your life? You will be more alive, joyful, loving and effective if you make sure that you are well. Unfortunately, not all circumstances can be influenced. And yet there are more than you think.
Self-love is a frowned upon word, we usually associate it with selfishness. But it is not the same!
Self-love: I take care of my mind, body and soul because God has made me wonderful. It comes out of a sense of fullness. Because I am valued and loved by God, I take care of my well-being and make sure that I can grow. I’m not more important than other people though.
Egoism: I primarily take care of myself, otherwise I come up short, the others don’t matter. This behavior arises from a feeling of lack.
In addition, I would like to share something from my own experience: Other people can’t sense your needs. I didn’t understand that for so long – now finally I give myself permission to have needs, to express them and to stand up for them. Your needs are worth being taken seriously. Standing up for yourself is not comfortable because others will resist. But it is really worth it! You will become more alive, more relaxed and more active.
Some examples:
- If you have a problem that has been robbing you of peace for a long time, ask yourself who or what would help you to tackle this problem. Most of the time you already have an answer. Implement it. No excuses! Take yourself seriously enough! Sometimes it helps to write down these answers and implement them in smaller steps.
- If you feel that you need rest, then take the time to rest. If you feel that’s impossible, talk it over with a person you trust.
- If you are lonely and need friends, reach out to people and make the first move. You are worth having good friends! And then be a wonderful friend yourself.
- If someone says something hurtful to you, call that person’s attention to it. Even if it’s just saying, “Ouch, that hurt!”
All of these examples take some courage to get started. But it is so worthwhile to create an environment in which you can flourish! It’s not selfish, because the people around you will benefit in the end, even if they don’t understand it right away.
Would you want to help a friend with these problems? Of course you would! But do you help yourself? If not: Why not? You can’t love and respect other people if you don’t love and respect yourself. Should you do that? Yes, because that’s what the Bible says.
…‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ Mark 12:31
Loving your neighbor and loving yourself are related. That’s what it says in God’s Word. You can’t have one without the other. This is an instruction from God, he wants you to love and respect yourself as well. (A good reason for this is the verse: “We love because God loved us first. ” in 1 John 4:19)
Give yourself permission to love yourself. You are worthy of being loved. God does, and so should you. You give so much value to a simple starfish that you take action to get it back into a suitable environment. Do the same for yourself!
